


Left Unsaid

by shamebucket



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: M/M, Movie: El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (2019), Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27041254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shamebucket/pseuds/shamebucket
Summary: Skinny says what he means.Mostly.
Relationships: Jesse Pinkman/Skinny Pete
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38
Collections: Little Black Dress Flash 2020





	Left Unsaid

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SegaBarrett](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SegaBarrett/gifts).



It sucks to see Jesse like this. 

He eats like he's never eaten a meal before in his life. This is, like, nothing in comparison to the amounts of food he used to eat back in the day, back when he and Skinny and Badger and Combo all used to smoke weed together while playing Mario Kart. Man could absolutely _obliterate_ bags of Cheetos. Things seemed so much easier back then. It wasn't like Skinny hadn't been in jail a few times - he had, and it blowed, but good times with good friends afterwards made it all feel worth it. 

Like, making money and shit was all well and good, but as long as Skinny could get high and spend time with his crew, then nothing else really mattered, right? Things were cool. But things are pretty different now. 

Skinny can't take his eyes off of Jesse. It's like watching a train wreck. There's a word for this, he thinks, but English wasn't ever his strong point. School in general, really. Jesse shovels ramen into his face, eating so fast that Skinny is kind of afraid he's gonna puke it up in a half hour or so. "Hey," he says gently, approaching Jesse, his hand outstretched, reaching towards him. Jesse flinches, curling his body around the Cup Noodle. Skinny isn't, like, one to cry or anything, but it's tearing him up seeing Jesse so, well, messed up. "There's plenty more where that came from, alright? No need to rush." 

Jesse nods, one quick, jerky motion, and continues eating, slowing down only slightly. 

It's enough for Skinny. Badger sways uncomfortably behind him, just as tense as Skinny is.

\---

Skinny had wondered for months where the hell Jesse went. He knew that it probably wasn't good. Jesse really got tangled up in it. There was a time where Skinny even wondered if maybe, like, Jesse had... kicked it or something, but he hoped against hope that it wasn't the case.

There was just something about Jesse that Skinny missed more than anything. He and Badger are bros, and nothing would ever change that, but it felt like something was missing when Jesse wasn't around. 

Somehow, the feeling is even worse now that Jesse is back. It gnaws at Skinny from the inside out. 

After Jesse finishes demolishing Skinny's non-perishables, he immediately goes over to Skinny's room and collapses on his bed face first. Man needs some sleep. Skinny flicks the switch off so he can get some rest. Badger is staring out at the TV in the living room, but, even though the light is off, Skinny is still transfixed, staring at the man sleeping in his bed. 

There are little things you learn about a friend after years of spending time together. Like the way that Jesse was a heavy sleeper (until that suddenly changed, like, less than a year ago), and the way that he basically always sleeps in the clothes that he wore the day before, and how he always looks hazy and warm when he wakes up, even when he's grouchy as shit from being shaken awake. 

Now, even in his sleep, Jesse looks like shit. He groans softly, trembling, and something inside of Skinny's chest aches. Maybe if he tucked Jesse in, he'd sleep better. Swaddling works for babies and shit, right? Maybe if he held Jesse, things wouldn't suck so bad. Both of Jesse, who might feel better having someone hold him, and for Skinny, because - 

Badger interrupts his thoughts to tell him to watch what's on TV, and Skinny tells him off. "Dude, now really isn't the time." Even when Badger clarifies that it's the news... Skinny doesn't want to take his eyes off of Jesse. 

He might disappear if he stops watching.

\---

Even when Skinny manages to tear his eyes off of Jesse, he can't stop thinking about him. The news repeats its endless cycle - person of interest, rescue mission, shit that sounds so unreal, even counting all the stuff that Skinny knows that Jesse has been through.

He thinks back to one of the first times they got high together after he hooked Jesse up with Tuco's gang. They only had weed that day, but that was cool. Weed is a different high than meth, more... social, he guesses. 

"Yo, dawg," Jesse said, a little pissed off as Skinny rolled the last of the weed into a joint, "can't you spare a little for me? Huh?" 

"Yeah, sure, whatever man." Skinny took a long drag and passed the joint over to Jesse. Jesse took it between his lips and inhaled deeply, leaning back in Skinny's recliner. He smiled lazily at Skinny and passed the joint back to him, slowly exhaling smoke. 

Watching Jesse relax was oddly comforting, in a way. Skinny wasn't exactly sure how else to put it. He didn't exactly feel the same way with his other friends - there was just something about _Jesse_ , you know? It's like, whenever Jesse was around, things would be okay. Even when things went to shit, Skinny always found himself believing that. 

So it's time for him to do his best by Jesse.

\---

It's not enough. Skinny knows that he's doing everything that he's able to do, but it's really not enough. Skinny has to think fast, and he always finds that he's able to think quickly when it comes to Jesse, this wordless reason that has been becoming more and more desperate now that they've been face to face again and now's really not the time to talk about it, not the time to think about it, not while Jesse is in so much deep shit.

Badger is already on his way to the Mexican border. Jesse is going to take Badger's car, and he's got cash, and he'll make it out okay. He has to. This is pretty dire, but Jesse's been through worse, right...? 

It wasn't said explicitly, but Skinny knows deep down that he's never going to see Jesse again. Jesse looks so good in Skinny's clothes and cleaned up even though Skinny is scared for Jesse, scared that he's going to get caught easier this way. He stares at Jesse, trying to not let his sadness show on his face, and pats him on the shoulder before walking towards the El Camino. 

"Yo, Skinny." He turns around. Skinny feels oddly naked without his beanie on. Jesse holds it in his hands. It's probably still warm. The thought makes the pain suck a little bit less. "Why are you doing all of this?" 

There's a challenge in Jesse's eyes. It's like he knows, and like he wants to hear it to make sure that it's real.

Skinny almost says it. He really thinks about it. _Because I love you._ And, like, not in the bro way either. The way that Jesse is staring back at Skinny makes him want to feel hope. They could run away together, maybe. It's not like Skinny is _that_ attached to what he's got left. He almost wonders if Badger would get it, too. 

Maybe in a different life. Maybe, like, in some parallel universe. This might all be some sort of simulation anyway. But he can't hold Jesse back, not when he's so close to being cut free. He deserves that much at the very least. 

"Dude..." Skinny takes a deep breath, trying to find the right words. 

_Because I care about you. Because it's what you deserve. Because I want you to be happy._

He works through all these thoughts in his mind, and finally sighs. "You're my hero and shit." 

Jesse's face is harsh from worry, but Skinny thinks he can accept the little smile Jesse gives him before he turns back to the El Camino, refusing to look over his shoulder. If this is the last memory he'll ever have of Jesse... then he's happy that he at least got to say that much.


End file.
